Being Sick

Why do people get sick? I understand that its because of germs and what not but why? Why does God want us to be miserable and to not be able to do anything. Why does he want us to take medications to feel better and why does he have to make it hurt so much when we are sick. I dont really understand why he feels that he has to punish us. For some reason I am always sick. I either always have a cough in the winter and a runny nose and in the summer sometimes I get the same thing and it sucks. I absolutely hate being sick. Its depressing not being able to go anywhere, no one wants to see you because no one wants to get sick, and you always have to take disgusting medicine or go to the dreaded doctors office. Where out of all places i shouldnt be unwilling to go because I basically grew up there. Between my mom, my 3 aunts, my uncle, my father and both of my grandparents being well equiped in the medical feild by either being an RN, apart of the ambulance, and all working in the same hospital i should be ok with going to the doctors office to get medicane to get better, but im not. I am just as stubborn as my father and my grandfather when it comes to going to the doctors office and to getting better. I believe just as my dad and my gradpa does that it will go away on its own and that i dont need other people telling me what to do and what meds to take. I know this and I also know that I can not continue to do this because it is not healthy but I still hate the doctors office.

Anyway to get off the doctors tangent. Im tired of being home alone. Normally I love being home but when Im by myself and cant go anywhere it sucks. If I was feeling ok I would either be out skating, teaching my self to play hockey again, taking pictures, going to my old high school, seeing my friends and family, anything but im not and it royally sucks. I dont know what to do with myself anymore. I dont want to go to school, but i cant stay home. I wish there was somewhere that I could go where I could be happy and not deal with stupid people who dont know...well anything. I wish I could go to Australia and make surfing magazines, or have my own resturant there where I could design everything myself from the logo to the look of the resturant and if I wanted to go to the beach I could I wouldnt have to check with my boss or with my manager I could just go and do what I want to when I want to. I wish I could take my family and my friends with me and my dog. Chelsea would love Australia and so would my parents. As it is my Dad wants to move. I dont really know where he wants to go but I think he said something about South Carolina so we could be red necks lol I could see my Dad with a big barn in the back yard and a bunch of trucks in the yard, but I dont see my mom there. I dont see her leaving Long Island and moving somewhere where she doesnt know anyone. Where we dont have any family and starting all over again. Not now. Maybe if Gerard and I were still in school. But not now, not when I need them the most. To be the most stable thing in my life right now. To know that I can come home to Long Island and knowing that they will always be here, that they will be in the same house that I grew up in and that when we put the addition onto it that Gerard and I helped to build. Where we lived in the basement for almost 2 years and waited for our new rooms to be built on the second story of our house. I cant see them leaving. I cant see us leaving. I dont want to leave...